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Keyword(s): Divorce Advice
Nothing worthwhile is easy, but when is enough enough?
Divorce can be the hardest decision that a person has to make in their life but sometimes it is the only option.
If you feel like your relationship is really struggling it might be time to take a step back and evaluate.
The following six points are a bit of divorce advice. These things signify that a divorce might be the next step for you and your spouse.
Are you constantly feeling like what you and your spouse value have become very distant ideologies?
Each and every person has a unique set of values. Typically, when you are in a romantic relationship you values will align with your partner’s and that is what attracts you to them. However, if you find that you cannot agree on the ‘big’ things you are going to struggle with having a successful relationship.
One of the leading causes of divorce is a difference in values. This can be the result of a variety of things.
Maybe your values were never truly aligned.
Maybe one of you changed along the way.
Maybe you both changed.
It is very important that you acknowledge your core values changing. If you feel as though you have gotten to a point in your relationship where you can never find common ground on the things that matter you are probably not in a good place.
Some divorce advice regarding values might be to try taking a look into the future. Is your partner’s idea of the future something that you could not possibly be happy with? If not, it may be time to consider divorce.
The Bad Outweighs the Good
Take a look at your interactions. If you had to guess, what percentage of them would you classify as positive and what percentage are negative?
It is common that within couples that are headed towards their interactions are far more negative than they are positive.
Negative interactions can be things such as nagging, criticism, or harsh sarcasm.
The magic ratio in any relationship is five positive interactions for every one negative one. Often couples that are nearing divorce have almost equal positive and negative interactions.
Which of these facts describe your relationship? If not, it might be time to go through with the divorce and contact a divorce attorney.
If there is a lot of nagging and negativity being passed back and forth it will probably lead to defensive behavior. That is common. But how severe are your exchanges with your spouse?
It is impossible to be happy when you always feel like you are being attacked and need to combat the harsh words.
When each of you is always ready for a fight it is nearly impossible to have a productive conversation to solve issues at hand. Often times, arguments will result in personal insults rather than solving the topic at hand.
In a successful marriage, those involved are able to stick to a single topic and come to a conclusion without veering off into an argument riddled with personal insults. Conflict resolution is one of the most important parts of a healthy marriage.
If you ever feel devalued by your partner during what should be a “normal” argument this may be a sign that you should consider getting divorced.
Your Friends and Family Want You to Get Out
The people that love you are concerned for your wellbeing in this marriage. They are giving you more important divorce advice than anyone else: get out.
Your parents, friends, even your children can sense that this relationship is unhealthy. They can see how unhappy you are and know that a change needs to be made.
Those that are closest to you want the best for you and they may be seeing something that you cannot see from the inside. An outside perspective is sometimes just the divorce advice you need to make the change.
You are just not happy.
Those that are in a healthy relationship are happy more often than they are not. Sure every couple has quarrels but happiness should be the norm.
You have tried everything that your marriage counselor has suggested. You feel completely burnt out. Often a standstill in counseling alone can be a sign that divorce is your only option.
If you’ve applied all the tactics and yet nothing seems to be working you may be out of remedies.
If you have run out of methods to fix your relationship and feel drained of emotion from trying so hard, you have reached emotional exhaustion. Everything will seem like it is hard because you no longer have the will to fight.
Normal conversations turn into blowouts in a matter of seconds.
Once one or both partners have entirely given up it is nearly impossible to salvage the flame that was once at the heart of your marriage.
Emotional exhaustion leads to unhappiness and often unhappiness can lead one or both parties to be unfaithful.
It is crucial that you see divorce advice from a professional if one or both parties have gone outside of the marriage for a relationship.
A sudden change in behavior can be a sign of unfaithfulness.
Does your partner suddenly have renewed interest in their appearance? Are they spending far more time away from home than they used to? Do they want to have sex much more all of a sudden?
A new sexual partner may be making them more aroused even within your marriage.
Some couples are able to make it to the light at the end of the tunnel that is infidelity. Doing this requires a great deal of counseling and commitment from both parties. Many couples feel that unfaithfulness is the nail in the coffin of their marriage.
Seeking Divorce Advice from a Professional
Most people will hire a divorce attorney to get divorce advice while they are still working out their marriage or in marriage counseling. It is helpful to hear details about the process from a professional as it might be helpful in the decision-making process.
Have questions about next steps? Contact us today.