This post should not be interpreted as our office advocating for divorce in every scenario. Obtaining a divorce is a substantial emotional and financial undertaking that should be taken very seriously. Divorce can be the hardest decision that a person has to make in his or her life, but sometimes it is the only option. Divorce is undoubtedly a life-changing event. If you feel your relationship is struggling for an extended period, it might be time to step back and evaluate. Consider couples counseling before pursuing divorce. The scenarios below may indicate that divorce is the next step for you and your spouse.
Domestic Violence
If there is domestic violence in the relationship, it is time for a divorce. The relationship is outright unhealthy, and it needs to end. If your spouse commits domestic violence, you need to call the police. Even if there are children from the marriage, you are not doing them any favors by sticking around. If there are children from the marriage, protect them from constant stress and end the marriage. You are not doing the minor children any favors by continuing to be in a marriage where there is domestic violence.
Unfaithfulness
Florida is a “no-fault” state when it comes to divorce. Some couples are able to make it to the light at the end of the tunnel, which is infidelity, to salvage their marriage. Doing this requires significant counseling and commitment from both parties. Many couples, however, feel that adultery is the nail in the coffin of their marriage.
Argument Severity
It is impossible to be happy when you always feel like you are being attacked and need to combat the harsh words. When each of you is always ready for a fight, it is nearly impossible to have a productive conversation to solve issues at hand. Oftentimes, arguments will result in personal insults rather than solving the topic at hand. In a successful marriage, those involved are able to stick to a single topic and come to a conclusion without veering off into an argument riddled with personal insults. Conflict resolution is one of the most important parts of a healthy marriage. If you ever feel devalued by your partner during what should be a “normal” argument, this may be a sign that you should consider getting a divorce. Speak with a marriage counselor or therapist in the process.
Emotional Exhaustion
Emotional exhaustion happens frequently. Normal conversations turn into heated arguments in a matter of seconds. If you have run out of methods to fix your relationship and feel drained from trying so hard, you have reached emotional exhaustion. Once one or both parties have entirely given up, it is nearly impossible to salvage the marriage. Oftentimes, this is referred to as “checking out” of the marriage. Nevertheless, attempt marriage counseling to see if the marriage can be salvaged. If not, then decide whether to pursue a divorce.
Other Considerations
There are other instances that may lead to parties wanting to obtain a divorce, such as a form of asset protection, which only occurs in very few instances. When contemplating divorce, it is prudent to review and familiarize yourself with the household finances if you are not the one who handles the bills. Develop your own personal budget outside of marriage. You should also create an inventory list of the personal items in the house that you want to keep. If these items are valuable, take photos of them. While also contemplating a divorce, you will need to set aside money for legal fees. As with any professional, an attorney expects to be paid for their time and services. Failure to pay your attorney will cause your attorney to withdraw in the middle of the case, unless there are sufficient liquid assets in the marital estate, he or she can attach a charging lien. A majority of divorce attorneys will not take your case unless you are able to pay their initial retainer.
After concluding that you want to pursue a divorce, begin interviewing attorneys. This topic is covered in a separate post. Our offices have handled a substantial number of divorce cases in Florida. If you have any questions, call our office to schedule an appointment.