If you are going through a divorce, you are probably aware of how it is affecting your entire family, including the kids. Children look to their parents for stability, in both a physical and emotional sense. Fortunately, when parents approach divorce in a respectful and considerate manner, their children’s needs both during and after the divorce are likely to be addressed in a meaningful way. Unfortunately, it is all too easy for divorcing parents to develop habits or behaviors during this difficult time in their lives, which could end up having a negative impact on their children.
One mistake that some divorcing parents make is not spending enough time with their kids on a regular basis. When parents decide to divorce, they often make a temporary parenting schedule which remains in effect during the divorce process. This temporary schedule is supposed to be a tool for ensuring that the children and the parents know who is supposed to be where, and when. Sometimes, when a temporary schedule is not created, the parent who is caring for the children acts as if they do not have to let the other parent see the kids regularly. Of course, this is not good for the children, nor is it good for the parent who is not spending time with the kids. Temporary schedules usually give each parent regular blocks of time with their children, so if you do not yet have one in place, insist that you get one. Once there is a temporary schedule in place, be sure that you stick to it. Some divorcing parents try to inconvenience their children’s other parent by failing to pick the kids up for a scheduled visit or to return them to the other parent at the scheduled time. Unfortunately, while the other parent may be affected by these types of activities, the people who suffer the most for it are the children.
Another mistake that divorcing parents make is engaging in hostile communication with each other. Negative feelings are certainly a part of the divorce process, but when those feelings are translated into outward behavior which others can see, hear, and feel, it can affect other people, including the children. Sometimes, less is more when it comes to communicating with a soon to be former spouse. If communications tend to be hostile, reduce the amount of communication that you have with your soon to be former spouse to the absolute minimum. Of course, some communication is necessary for practical reasons, but it is possible to conduct that communication through more indirect means like text messaging or an online family calendar.
A third mistake some divorcing parents make is putting their kids in the middle of their situation. Divorce is not about the kids, though. It is about the two adults, which the kids almost always regard as equals. Unfortunately, many parents do ask their children to take sides. This is both damaging and confusing for the children. Also, making disparaging remarks to children about their other parent is also harmful because children want and need positive relationships with both parents.
If you are interested in learning more about your legal options regarding your Florida divorce or some other important family law matter, contact the Law Offices of James S. Cunha, P.A. at 561-429-3924 or via email at [email protected]. We serve family law clients throughout the West Palm Beach, Boca Raton, Wellington, Jupiter, Palm Beach County, Broward County, and Martin County areas.